(Another oldie but goodie from 2008.....read it and relate)
If life has taught me anything, it has taught me to be authentic. When you are authentic, your motivation is to be as honest as possible. You try not to surprise anyone. You will rarely do things to impress people because you will already be impressive. Or, you just WON'T be impressive. There will be rare occasions in you changing who you are. Now, you may make some improvements. But, that is not called "changing", as it is called "evolving". Having some authenticity shows that you have the confidence, the structure, and even the happiness that is necessary. There may be moments of weakness, but eventually you will overcome. Authenticity, just like honesty, is really the best policy.
This is why it pains me to see so many of men in society NOT being authentic. You have too many men that try to be people they are not. They want that attention that others have. They want the power that they see other men wield at a whim. They want the respect that others have worked very hard to have. Yet, they have never managed to earn that power, respect, or attention. So, instead of figuring out a way to be earners in this maddening trend of cultural underachieving and copying, they choose to be carbon copies of the next popular thing going on out here. And that popular thing right now? The thug.
Yeah, I went there with it. There are too many thug wannabes. Period. Which leads us to our Chocolate Covered Lie:
In order to get respect, you have to be GANGSTA!
This is a situation that concerns me because I am noticing that this is a cultural phenomenon. It is not just amongst black people. It spreads to all different nationalities and beliefs. From there, you have to deal with all the madness that comes from the backlash of this accepted mentality among some men. A lot of women become fed up with dealing with said men that are always "dogging them out" and "treating them bad". They tend to think that "all of the men are like this" and that there is nothing else out there for them. I realize that a major component of all the madness is the women's choices in men. Yet, it always interests me to see what is really going on.
Now, I do understand those situations in which this may be a man's actual way of living and thinking. Whether it was by influence or by environment, he became the prototypical "thug". People fail to realize that a lot of the illegality behind the many things that they have done is for survival. It was to make sure they were taken care of. It was to make sure their families were taken care of. Some even planned on the situation being short term.
I'm not talking about them, though. I'm talking about the wannabes. The wannabes that think they are thugs when they are soft and cuddly like Monchhichis (don't know what it is? Please google it. Or just look at the picture I made.)
The Attraction to Thug Passion
To make sure that there is pure coverage on what is going on, I chose to break down the reason why the women love these men:
a.) Thugs are confident: Women pull towards the confidence that they have. In order to be so street oriented, you cannot be weak. And since weakness is seen as debilitating as the plague, they work to have none. So, no weakness and all confidence equals to the attraction of women.
b.) Thugs tend to wild out: Women want that spark in life. They want that "adventure" and who is better to give it to them than a thug? Living dangerously will always be the things of memories. And memories are built on experiences. Some women tend to think that the thug is the ultimate of the experiences they can have (relationship wise, anyways).
c.) Thugs are seen as ultimate manly men: With that said confidence and adventure, it is deemed these thugs to be the manliest of men. They have all the experiences and attitude that some women (well, a lot of women) really do want at this moment.
d.) It's an accepted norm: Look at a lot of the rap stars out there. And you know people of ALL creeds and colors listen to hip hop. And within hip hop, the bad boy is popularized. The gaudy jewelry, unnecessary tattoos, outside foolery, and the whole aura is encompassing the music industry. So much that you have had stars that either associate themselves with bad boys or even make songs in reference to them (shout out to Beyonce and her "soldiers").
Monchhichis to Thugs
From this point on, we see that there is an attraction for the "bad boys of the neighborhood". From a social standpoint to a relationship standpoint, they are desired. This situation leads us to the problems that we face:
a.) An increase in thugged out males: Interesting thing, huh? Women like hoodlums. Women adore hoodlums. The common man knows this. They become the Monchhichi. Monchhichi sees, Monchhichi does. Sad reality of relations between man and woman, huh?
b.) Situations of dissatisfaction: Okay, so let's say the women get with these type of men. All of a sudden, they become tired of the madness (which eventually happens) and want that man to change. Why? Well, between the run ins with the law, the fussing, fighting, and in some situations cheating and verbal/physical/emotional abuse, the woman becomes worn out. Worn out by the daily struggle. Worn out by his daily juggle. Worn out by those nights he's hitting the streets and she has no one to cuddle. Yeah, the appeal has lost its lost. As I say, all that glitter is not gold. Not even if they are gold teeth. Word to Lil' Jon.
c.) Regular guys don't want anything to do with these women: You think these guys want to sit up here and deal with a woman that lives the thug life? Please. Most successful men don't have time for all of that madness. They want that "simple life" that some women found to be boring. Later on, they work hard to have it. They even work even harder to find someone that represents that. But they don't want to deal with the madness that the "Sheniquas" in the world bring. "Sheniqua" is used goods now. And unless you are at Salvation Army or Goodwill (or grandma's house), used goods are not attractive. They want the effort heavy, but equally rewarding situation that dating "Sally" brings. And "Sally" is specially priced at Macy's. Worth every penny.
Now that it is all said and done, it's all about what we want out of life. The men in the world have to understand that being a thug is ultimately a choice. Most guys that are thugs felt they didn't really have a choice. Also, it's not something for the weak and weary. Thug life is about survival, not picking up chicks to date. If a man feels that way, then maybe he needs to become something more authentic. If a woman does not like a man for whom he is, then move on to the next one. Its time for these wannabe G's to have some type of testicular fortitude about their lives. Have some confidence, yet leave the ego at home.
And stop watching those rap videos of chumps with rented jewelry making it rain in the club. Or you might end up like Adam "Pac-Mania" Jones.
'Nuff said.
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