Kool-Aid was, and still is, a very popular drink. Many people love to drink it because of its worthwhile flavors and the ease of making it. Created by Edwin Perkins back in Hastings, Nebraska, it grew from becoming a small town drink of choice to a worldwide phenomenon in the flavored drink industry. It is such a commonality at this moment that Kool-Aid is what we would call a "genericized trademark". This means that every related product is usually referred to as "kool-aid" (like Kleenex, Q-Tips, and Frisbees). Personally, I prefer the flavors of Fruit Punch or Cherry (even though us urban people just call it "red").
There is a reference phrase that goes as "drink the Kool-Aid", using the product in a non-literal form. It is derived from the 1978 cult suicide in Jonestown, Guyana. Jim Jones, whom was the leader of a cult named The Peoples Temple, convinced them to move to Jonestown. Late in the year, he then ordered his flock to commit suicide by drinking grape-flavored Flavor-Aid laced with potassium cyanide. A large majority of the 913 people were later found dead. These people drank the brew. This situation is now commonly called the "Jonestown Massacre".
Then again, there is another total meaning for "drunk the Kool-Aid". It also refers to being a sturdy or ardent believer in a philosophy, mission, belief system, or what have you. This dedication can even become blinding and unrealistic.
Which leads me into Chocolate Lie Number Five:
Women/Men Will Find the Perfect, Flawless Person in Life for Them
Why did I use the reference of "drink the Kool-Aid"? Well, to put it in perspective, we all have done it frequently, in a proverbial sense. We, as a people, have all looked for our perspective partners to fit a certain profile. We have all had beliefs that the people we look for are going to be a certain way, act a certain way, and think a certain way. We all have viewed our perspective partners to have certain aspects that we find in the "perfect" mate. So many women want that "knight in shining armor". So many men want that "princess that they can royally sweep off of their feet". We have all "drunk the Kool-Aid" in order to find the person that will fulfill our needs, or wants disguised as needs. It all depends on how you play out your situation.
I guess it’s time for my initial breakdown of what I am trying to get at and what I am trying to have people see:
Physical features: As some may know, men and women do have their physical preferences. Some men want their women to be thick. Others want them to be thin. There are a percentage of men who like their women on the bigger side of things. Some men really care about whether or not their women are a "dime piece" model chick that you would hope to imagine from some movie or music video. Others could care less about it as long as she is presentable, clean, and takes care of herself. On the flip side of the coin, women can really be particular about things. From height requirements, athletic ability/body structure, to even the amount of hair a man has, women also have their requirements.
Status: Status is a big thing for both men and women. Not only is status a deal maker, it can also be a deal breaker. What I mean by status is the two E's: education and earning potential. Now, there are some that are not too hung up on the two E's. However, with education, a mate will feel the need to use that to determine if they would want to deal with someone. They may feel that their mate has to have at least some type of college education because they may possess that also. Others may want that level just to make sure that their mate has their head on straight (whatever that means).
Personality: This is a difficult one to really get into. Personality, sometimes, can be more so towards what a person can deal with rather than what they want. I guess you can say it has to do with compatibility. However, different people can handle different personalities if they so needed to do so. Now, do not get me twisted in your understanding of my logic. SOME personality types DO NOT need to even intermingle (more on that in another CCL installment). Alas, sometimes we are more prone to deal with what we WANT rather than what we NEED TO AVOID.
That is the whole thing about the perspective of "drinking the Kool-Aid". When you drink Kool-Aid, don't you usually pick out the flavor that you want? Seriously, there are some people that love fruit punch, but cannot stand grape. Others want some type of blueberry, but do not deal with orange. Some will deal with all types except lemon-lime. Then there are others that like them because…hell, they are Kool-Aid: flavored sugar water that is good at great taste, cavities, and a sugar high.
Some wonder where all these expectations come from? Well, to be pretty clear they start at childhood. Yes, people, it all started when you were a kid. It's not that amazing of a concept, really. When you were a child, you were reared with expectations and predictions of what other people would be like or treat you like. YOUR PARENTS (good, bad, or indifferent) has helped manipulate the social interactions that you have with people. It was either a lot of what they did or what they did not do. In order to get those good feelings and situations from your parents, you would do things for them to happen. Therefore, you made an equation within your head:
DO WHAT MY PARENTS WANT+ BEING GOOD ABOUT IT= GETTING WHAT I WANT
Now, this is a good approach for a child, but there is a time in which you enter into adulthood. In dealing with other relationships, those people may have a different upbringing, understanding, or even a culture. From there, it is easy to see the difficulties within relationships. Right at the beginning, you are going to have to mesh beliefs, disregard attitudes, or even make certain changes and improvements for yourself, your mate, and even your kids. The old said equation that I stated above may not even work for every case. These people are not your parents, nor are they trying to be.
Instead of manipulating situations into what we want them to be, we may need to work on ourselves. It is true that you may have preferences and such, but are we even meeting other's preferences? We seek perfection out of others, but are we perfect ourselves? We want people to appease us when it comes to certain things, but do we appease people? Do we put in the effort that we expect others to put in? If you do put in that effort, then I applaud you. If not, then maybe you, as a person reading this, should work on yourself first. Then try and get the other person together. That way, you can mitigate argument, tension, strife, and all the other things that happen in relationships.
So, stop drinking the Kool-Aid! Unless you are at a family barbeque, of course.
'Nuff Said!
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