People nowadays are heavily cliché in their thoughts and actions. There, I said it.
Many of us spend too much time living by statements that are cornier than Chili Cheese Fritos. An obvious validation of our own insecurities, people will cling to them. It rarely matters if these statements have any true worth. Also, it tends not to matter that these statements lead to stagnation. In the end, they will do it because they are so used to it.
With all of the above mentioned, it is time to transfer some time into exposing one of the good old fashioned chocolate covered lies that many cling to: the cliché statement that defines lives.
There will be a couple of clichés covered to show the fallacies that fall behind them.
Vinegar and the Caught Flies
Statement of cliché: “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”.
This is one of those statements that act as a way to practice self-control. The vast majority of social and personal problems seem on theoretical grounds to involve a substantial component of deficient self-control [1]. Meaning: if someone has issues going on, there is a great chance that self-control (or a lack of it) is an eminent issue. Also, people are happiest and healthiest when there’s an optimal fit between self and environment, and altering the self can substantially improve the ability to fit in [2]. So, self-control has its benefits; and this statement holds SOME merit.
However, it isn’t a statement that can always be true enough to be a “rule of thumb”.
The first problem is that behavior control isn’t always the wisest choice. Although SOME self-control does help life to be more profitable, TOO MUCH self-control can be even worse than none at all:
The scientists have discovered that too much self-control is bad. They consider that one should have self-control, but if one tries to control every aspect of his life with much rigidity, he will only do more harm than good. The self-control wears us down, and the process of thinking about other’s self-control can be demanding as well. [3]
Think about all of these people that have “road rage”, “air-rage”, and even the “Columbine incident”. Many of these people hold so much back that things build up until they explode [4]. Instead of taking each situation and finding an outlet, they let things stack up like a game of Jenga. However, like every game of Jenga, the pieces eventually fall and make a mess.
Another problem with “honey for flies” is that situations come off way too euphemistic. People will spend time “trying to be nice, when the reality is that they are pretty upset. It is one thing to work to be “professional” and “level headed” about a situation. Yet, one doesn’t want to sacrifice their message for the sake of mass appeal. In the end, euphemistic approaches can leave one not fully communicating their true feelings.
Oh, and one last pointer: flies seem to be attracted to both honey and fecal matter. I know it’s not sane, but I’m just saying.
Blinded by the Light….of Love?
Statement of cliché: “Love is blind”.
People from William “Billy Boy” Shakespeare to the hip hop/actress Eve has noted that “love is blind”. What this references is that people love “without seeing who they love”. Within the perfection that many of us “want”, when it comes to love that perfection “goes out the window”. True love is supposed to make us look at someone’s flaws and forget all about them. In turn, being “blinded by love” allow us to “see the true beauty in our love partners”.
“Love is blind” is a heartwarming cliché. Only problem with it is that it is only partially true.
The love part may be “blind”, but the selection process is not. People subconsciously select mates who come from common socioeconomic backgrounds, ethnicities, geographies, education levels and upbringings [5]. So, from the selection section of relationship building, we are looking for “familiarity” and “preferences”. Gordon Gallup, an evolutionary psychologist at State University of New York at Albany, noted that “innate physical attraction is far from blind; instead, it engages all of our senses signaling if a person is a reproductive match” [6]. Constructively, the selection of a mate is rigorous and discerning.
Even the “blindness” of love shouldn’t be seen as “blindness” more so than it should be seen as “illusionary constructs of the mind”. People fall in love with their idealized vision of their lovers, or with the idea of being in love, rather than with the actual reality of their lovers [7]. There will more than likely be a positive evaluation towards anything you are more inclined to. More than anything, though, is the importance of actually acknowledging a person’s more negative characteristics:
In light of the complexity typical of love and the fact that lovers are often unwilling to face reality, self-deception and mistakes are likely to occur. We can be wrong in identifying the beloved's attitude, since the person can easily fake or hide it. We can also be wrong in identifying our own loving attitude, one reason being that sexual desire can be confused with romantic love. This is especially true in the first stages of romantic love when sexuality plays a dominant role. According to the troubadour tradition, the love test used in order to prevent such confusion among lovers is to spend a night in his mistress' arms without any sexual consummation. [8]
Conclusively, Cupid would rather use rose colored shades than a blindfold when he shoots for love.
The Point of it All like a Anthony Hamilton Song
Clichés are cool statements that only go so far. “Catching flies with honey rather than vinegar” and “love is blind” were just two of the many clichés that people have a tendency to follow. Those two clichés are heavily used and misused on a daily basis. Like many other clichés, the cliché itself has its clear limitations. In the end, we all live real life; and real life has a tendency to not revolve around beautiful Barnes and Noble book banter.
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!
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