Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Chocolate Covered Lies Part 2: All Men Are Dogs


Growing up in a household where music was played at a constant and videos watched daily, I came to grips with the many things I saw and heard. I remember being really young listening to "Rapper's Delight" while getting my sucker stuck on my cover (just hood with it, I know). I can recognize the times when I would hear Frankie Beverly and Maze play at a picnic while all the grown ups "chewed the fat" over sodas, beers, and an occasional cognac (some people love to get sauced when its warm outside). I even remember having the occasional rock and roll joint that captivated my senses. Hey, "Under The Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers is one of the greatest songs of all times…in my eyes.

However, none has intrigued me more than George Clinton and all that P-Funk he was on. You have to admit, from the gratuitous outfits, to the insanely convoluted and colorful artwork, to even the subject matter of the songs, he was something to remember. And remember him I do. Not for the many times he has been sampled by rappers. Not for the fact that he still has colored extensions in his hair. Not for his drug influenced music (do your research). I remember him best for the song "Atomic Dog".

And no, I'm not a member of Omega Psi Phi nor is any of my immediate family members…that I know of anyways.

I remember the song for what keeps repeating in my head (besides the intoxicating melody and slinky computerized sounds):

Why Must I Be Like That?
Why Must I Chase The Cat?
Must Be The Dog In Me!!

Must it be the dog in me, though? Must it be the animal labeled "man's best friend"? Should I be reduced to a canine because I shamelessly "chase the cat"?

Here is my observation of the situation: all men are not dogs. Yes, plenty of us have doggish ways. Some of us can be just as uncouth and in need of home training as your street wandering mutt. But, no, not all of us are dogs. Some men are highly confused as to what they want to do. Others are, to put it simple and plain, single. And if a man is going to be single, he is going to do what he does and how he does.

So, please cut the antics about a single man being a "dog".

I see that the reference comes from the fact that a lot of men (especially those that are single) have a knack of getting with any woman that they please. Naturally, that would be our choice. In real life, it still is our choice. However, with the inclination that a woman that does the same thing is to be considered a "whore" and a "slut". Does that make a man a "whore" or a "slut" also? Should the man be considered lascivious because he has the freedom to sleep around?

Shit yeah, they should. But the problem is this: it's a standard of mentality that is being held by both men AND women alike.

This whole mentality was harbored since the time that we were taught values. Young men are allowed to do more than girls at times. Girls are expected to be a certain way, act a certain way and carry themselves to a standard at all times. Given that mentality, it is really hard to shake the fact that men can wild out and women are expected to be "more civilized". At times I see this as wholly unfair to the female race. It just gives them something to be morally in check by. Another issue is that dealing with sexuality; they lack the freedom that the men have been given after birth and during their rearing. That lack of freedom has led to some women believing in unrealistic ideals about themselves and relationships. Others just end up rebelling because they want that taste of freedom.

Sad case, I know. But that is how it happens. What you are taught plays a big part in what you do and believe. Period.

Then you have the differences between how men and women perceive sex and relationships. Now, this difference causes some big issues and misconceptions. A lot of times, men will see sex for just what it is: sex. Sex is a pleasurable experience that is shared between two people. It's an expression of lustful, animalistic gratitude outside of the boundaries of relationships, caring, and what have you. Therefore, its too easy for a man to have that one night stand. Yeah, a man can say "Suck me off" and then tell the girl to go home. It is not him being "doggish" (well sometimes it is). Really, it's the belief and attitude as to what purpose sex plays.

For some women (a nice amount), sex is an act you share with someone special. Although it is highly pleasurable for women, it can be considered an expression of "love" or "commitment" for a lot of them. A lot of women were raised to believe that sex is something that you either save for marriage or save for someone you love. How often does this work out? It rarely works, especially within this sexually charged era that we are living in. In the end, I can't blame parents for teaching this. Women also tend to become more emotionally attached to a partner. This can spell problems for those men that are out to get a quick orgasm and turkey sandwich.

So, men, please don't think she's being totally stuck up because she won't give you any. You guys don't have that relationship. Even if she does have outside-of-relationship sex, she didn't choose you, so get over it. Or try harder. Or step your game up.

Ladies, just realize that some men can be doggish. However, all of us are not. We view things differently. One isn't better than the other. One just suits a person needs better than the other option. That's all it really is.

I think I might need to write a book about this stuff.

Chocolate Covered Lies. M-Dot and Jay Abeyta. Coming soon.

'Nuff Said.

Some Just Want A Taste (or Chocolate Covered Lies Part 1)





This is the first installment of what me and Jay like to call "Chocolate Covered Lies". What we are trying to reference here is the fact that alot of the things we go for, we believe in, we nurture in our lives are nothing but sweetened madness. Sugar coated shit, if you will. Chocolate Covered Lies sounds that much sweeter. Yet, it also gives good reference to why things always go wrong in the end.




Chocolate Covered Lie Number One: All Men Want Is The Punani

Okay, now that I have uncovered the first lie that exist, I can get into it starting off with a story. There is girl named Sally. She's a sweet young lady that would do anything for anyone if given the opportunity. She's not the flyest bird in the nest, but she's not an ugly duckling either. Clean herself up and she's really quite the attraction. All through her times working to understand the opposite sex, she has had very little success. Some guys only saw her as a friend. Some guys would get a taste and go somewhere else. Few would actually be worth the time. But, for some odd reason it never really worked out. Going on for years, this becomes somewhat tiring. So, in her own right, she begans to just slow it all down and be more observant.

Now, there is this guy by the name of Sam. He is an okay guy. He works to be very understanding towards the opposite sex. He never really tries to be the type that goes for sex on the first night. He feels that its something that lowers a woman's value (whether its actually true or not). He would rather get to know the female that tempts his interests. Since he feels he is a mature man of some stature, his actions should say that. He's no longer a kid. Therefore, why do the things of a child?

Due to circumstances only God can invent, they meet up at a public outing. They have a few drinks and talk. Chat, chat, chat and all that good shit, right? So, as the night is winding down, they have grown attracted to each other. Sam is still in gentleman mode. Sally is ready to let more than her hair down. For reasons related to carnal hunger, Sally propositions Sam. Sam agrees, even though he knows that if it gets sexual then its all downhill.

They go back to her place to get to know each other better....in the biblical sense. It was good for Sam and even better for Sally. After the all nighter, Sam wakes up, swiftly gets dressed and kisses Sally on the forehead leaving a note saying "Thank You, My Queen."

Now, with this story as the given premise, what are the likely outcomes from this situation:

a.) They end up getting together and have a fruitful relationship over time.

b.) They end up being fuck buddies and that is where it ends.

c.) They won't even see or hear from one another ever again.

All of the outcomes are quite possible. I doubt there is equal distribution for situations, but there is at least some likelihood that all could happen.

So, you may be wondering when I am going to uncover the chocolate covered lie? Well, its been uncovered for you. In order to view the situation correctly you have to look at all the factors present to see why you are getting what you are getting. For alot of ladies, they might miss a few points here and there. Maybe they gave up the ass too fast. Maybe they weren't looking for a man at the time. Maybe the guy just wasn't ready for a relationship.

There it is people. Alot of men are not really ready for full time, long term relationships. By choice, force of habit, circumstances or lack of the maturity their mothers couldn't give them...they aren't ready. Plain and simple. Some try to play that position. Some are just man whores that cannot really fathom the idea of settling down. Others are too busy in their progression career wise or mind wise.

Alot of women write these men off as "bad". Hell, I may call them a douche bag here and there. Well, they act like douche bags, but I explained that in my previous blog. Sometimes, they are just the victims of what they learned. As weird as this sounds, they just don't know any better. Some of these guys were not taught any chivalry as young boys. Instead, they were taught to "soil their oats" and "get it and go". So, that's what they think its all about. Then, they deal with the women that let them do just that. Therefore, that is their reality. As the old saying goes "if they knew better they would do better".

Am I trying to give an excuse for what they do? Naw. But, you are more than likely going to do what you either see or what you have been taught. And alot of females do not make the situation any better for them. Some females don't do things that foster progression for men at times. They may go on their sexual tirades stating "fuck men". They may act too loose in the booty yet expect respect. Some may act snooty and inconcievably stuck on theirselves. What does this do for the psyche of the man? You don't want to be bothered? Understood. You celibate? Understood. You just want to conversate and get to know him better? Great. You really like him, but you are feeling a little thirsty for some testosterone in your life? Be my guest. But, there is a way to do any and everything to get the proper results.

Lets make an analogy: if you give a person lemons, do not get mad when they make lemonade.
Women, do the things that demand the respect of these men. Alot of these men aren't that bad. Some are just hella misguided and they are living off of what they have learned. However, like I said earlier: you ain't gonna change him. Just show him a different way so he can see that he will want to change for himself. Make that be his "rock bottom".

Men....lets start doing what we need to do. Our women are in a fragile state right now. Lets show that we got what it takes. Lets be honest and upfront...at least most of the time. You just wanna fuck? Let her know. You want to fuck her and her friend at the same time? Go for it. God knows that thought has run through my mind with plenty of females. You wanna just hang out? Cool. You want her to come by just because you love the way she looks and smells? Hey, animalism at its best. At some point and time we just have to start being men. If you don't know what that is all about, then have a real man show you.

Before you say "Men ain't shit", you need to figure out whether or not he even understands what he should or should be doing.

If he knows better and he's still messing around..then he's just a douche bag. I wrote a blog about douche bags earlier and how women go for them.


'Nuff Said