Friday, April 8, 2011

Lego Men in a Box: Being One and the Same (Chocolate Covered Lie #6)



(This is another post from 2008. Still necessary, though)

I have eaten many places at many different times. Usually, I prefer to get chicken because of the fact that I don't eat beef or pork. Now, it can be said that a lot of times the chicken will be fried. However, there are certain places that I will eat chicken and certain places that I will avoid like the plague. Usually, a restaurant that is more, say, on the franchise side of things will be avoided highly. Your regular (fill in the blank) usually have food that is highly processed due to the fact that its "fast food". Therefore, it has to be made fast and in a hurry. You may catch me eating at a sit down restaurant because the food is prepared almost like it was a "home cooked meal". Now, I hope that when I go to a sit down restaurant I do expect the prices to be higher. If I do lower my standards and go with fast food, I need to expect that I won't be seeing a waiter/waitress.

 So, it is safe to say that all restaurants are NOT THE SAME.

 The whole purpose of this exercise was to quickly go through a discourse of making sure people see my next analogy, which is dealing with another Chocolate Covered Lie:

 ALL MEN ARE THE SAME

 This significant untruth is something that is going to plague men for the rest of our lives. Women tend to view men being created by the same type of machine that adds the same type of ingredients to bring about the same product. We will all have the same thoughts. We will all have the same habits. We will all treat women the same way. We will all have the same maturity levels. We will all be uniform in our inescapable conformity of our nature. Men should not even be called human beings anymore.

 We should be called Lego Men!


 That's right. I said it. We should have plastic arms; unchanging facial expressions, unbendable knees, circular parts for hands, and a neck that allows our heads to spin all the way around. To add to this, we should also come in a package deal with building blocks used to construct anything from spaceships to castles to even life size versions of the M and M candies. I am saying this because if women keep approaching men like they are the same thing each and every time, you are going to get the same result each and every time: you not having a man that is worth your time. And that is if he deals with you long enough to get over being annoyed by you putting him in a goof-ball category.

 This is where the problem starts. The problem ends up being a hindrance for any woman to find a worthwhile man. Contrary to popular belief, a lot of the issue with women isn't the fact that there is a lack of good men in the world. One noticeable issue is that a lot of men are grouped into one solid category: all the same. Let me elaborate on why "boxing in" men is only going to cause problems.

 When you "box something in", or give it a label that it probably cannot avoid, you are taking away from your ability to see its integrity of growth, evolution, and being surprising. You are making it predictable. Predictability is good for common situations with common factors. But not weighing all the factors in a situation? That right there is a cause for concern. And lack of concern will make you burn (in the long run).

Now, there are commonalities amongst men, do not get me wrong. Men tend not to be sensitive as women. Men may think about sex more often than women (on the average). Men may tend not to be empathetic and trying to connect with emotions. All that is true. But that is dealing with the COMMON NATURE of man. So, that is allowed. However, there are a lot of situations in which women want to perpetrate that all men are a certain way because: that is what they want to believe, or those are the situations that they get themselves into. Let me explain even more.
 When a woman believes what she wants to believe; it will be hard to make her think otherwise. Therefore, if you think ALL men are going to be a certain way, then guess what? They pretty much are going to be just that. It is a thing called "perception" that humans tend to forget about. You SEE things as you want to see them sometimes. However, when does one take back to consider if they are not on the right track? Just because it's a perception does not always make it concrete. It can be fallible too.

 Now, here is the kicker: alot of women bring it on themselves. Alot of women keep going for the same guys. OR, they could be putting themselves in similar situations with men. Let me give you a qualifying example:

A wonderful young lady gets to meet a man that is pretty cool, but is really immature. She feels a strong sexual attraction after the first date. This may not be very common place for her, but hell...she goes for it anyway. They get to know each other better (in the biblical sense) and now they have a relationship. However, she may feel he is a "boyfriend". The man feels differently. He may feel its a "fuck thing".

So, they break off.

Time goes on, and this same young lady meets another guy. This guy is a pure gentleman. Again, she is feeling his whole vibe (swagger for you cliche people) and decides (against better judgment) to have SEX again. AGAIN, she feels that there is a relationship there. He feels that it is sex.

Do you see what I am getting at?

Think about it like this: would it make sense to keep eating at a place that made you sick? No, because that would not  make a lot of sense would it? Yet, a lot of women either: a.) pick the same type of men or b.) Do the same thing to all men. You have to understand that the same actions tend to get the same reaction. If you want such a different situation to happen for you, adjustments must be made.

Trust me, perception is a tricky situation. No rabbits come out of the hat of perception except for generalities and misguidance. So, if all the men that you deal with are not that good, OR if you keep doing the same routine thing, then you are picking the wrong brand of men. Or you are manipulating the situation for an adverse outcome.

 All men are not the same. Sometimes, it's just the situations that they are approach with, the perceptions they deal with, or the fact that some women pick the same type on a consistent basis. And leave the legos to the kids. They enjoy that stuff.

 'Nuff said.

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