Sometimes, men and women can never escape the unnecessary argument or discussion.
Let’s get into the short story: I was having a discussion about behaviors and actions about certain aspects of life (love, stress, and other situations). At some point, I came out and said “Personally, most males don’t get too riled up about things because, in general, we really don’t care”. As usual, the female population around me did not want to hear this. I’m not sure whether or not they liked my answer or not. I’m not truly sure if they truly believed it but didn’t want to admit it. At the end of the day, they did not truly want to take in what I said.
And that right there is part of the problem: too many women think that men think like them. This leads me to our next Chocolate Covered Lie: Women and men think alike.
Shared Values?
Although I understand that men and women don’t think alike, there will be something compatible: the capacity of shared values. What I mean should be pretty clear: men and women usually deal with those that share the same values. No real research is needed for that one:
- · Women that want to get married will usually try and deal with men that want to get married.
- · Christian men are usually going to look for a Christian wife.
- · If you are a male and hip hop is a part of your life, you might want to think of having rhyming kids with a rhyming wife.
All jokes aside, what really needs to exist between friends, couples, and such are shared values. At the end of the day, all the contrasts have to meet up at Comparison Street.
The Unshared Brain
While men and women have the desire to share values, they may not share the same way of thinking; and that is the way it is and shall be. Molly Edwards, of Discovery Health, noted this:
Research indicates that men and women do in fact have different structures and wiring in the brain, and men and women may also use their brains differently. In some cases, this may explain some of the stereotypes that we may not like to acknowledge about the genders. For example, men do score better at tasks that involve orienting objects in space, while women do better at language tests. From there, it's but a quick jump to the conclusions that men are better at reading maps and women talk too much. [1]
Makes sense in the grand scheme of things: men and women think differently. From the research, we can gather that women tend to be more linguistically articulate while men are spatial experts [2]. It can be said that women can master words while men can manipulate objects.
Let us not get it confused: this is not some role defining science here. Don’t think that a man shouldn’t master language or women shouldn’t learn how to decorate their houses. However, it is a way to actually understand dispositions as to why both genders look at things differently. In fact, it should work to bring genders closer together.
Boxes vs. Wiring
Let’s be clear on how men handle things: we keep things in separate categories. Mark Gungor, known for his research on relationships explains “when a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that box, we pull that box out, we discuss what is inside THAT box, we put it away gently…to make sure not to touch any other boxes” [3]. So, men are usually going to be very distinct and direct with what they need to say. Women, however, have wiring. We all know that wiring is interconnected around everywhere, flowing into distant paths of light, energy, and whatever keeps yachts above water [4]. So, everything tends to be connected somehow and someway. In the end, men’s brains function like a Walmart stock room while women’s brains are like the internet.
What has to be understood is that this tends to cause miscommunication because a man and a woman will think about the situation differently. A woman may reprise all the issues that are associated with a problem and even go “too deep” or start “over analyzing” situations. That brain of hers, probably powered by Firefox or Google Chrome, is just rolling through all the infinite possibilities based off of a “keyword”. Meanwhile, the man is only dealing with his “box of goodies”. And whatever is labeled on that box is what he is dealing with. With that said, we all have to make sure that we are both “thinking on the same wavelength”.
The Skinny
Men and women need to realize that they have to be cognizant of how we don’t think alike. In the beginning, it may cause a lot of frustration and issues. However, clear communication and open ears can always help alleviate the situation. Even if she may be going into outer space, or he may be somewhere enclosed, doesn’t always mean give up. It means that there has to be better understanding. At the end of the day, many of us just want to be understood anyway.
Well, except for me of course. I just wanna relax and drink Arnold Palmers and not care about stuff.
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!
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