Sorry Charlie, You Don’t Have Haters: CCL #17

You have heard it all before.

                Someone always has to feel as if the world is against them. People must always express their feelings of being held down, denigrated, or downplayed. Sensible notes of struggle become a Stromboli filled with supple, yet subtle views of outer schadenfreude. Yet, there are probably some doubts if the situation is that serious. Regardless, many of us will always feel someone is watching us. 

                From this point, you can cue in the Michael Jackson chorus and 80’s music, you Rockwells. (Please note: Rockwell was a one hit wonder. Don’t follow in his footsteps. ) 

                At the end of it, people tend to feel that they have haters. I disagree. They won’t like that I disagree, though. However, some of these people will still post their Facey-Spacey statuses, Twitter Planet quips, or even write articles and emails about being “hated” on. Conclusively, many will still feel they have “haters” regardless. 

                This has led me to one of my more contrarian posts yet: The majority of you don’t have haters. 

                Yes, I had to take the time for this chocolate covered lie. Cause people are becoming bigger idiots by the second. 

Being “hated” vs. having “haters”

                Before even trying to think of having “haters”, please ask yourself: Do people want me to fail or is it that they don’t like me?

                I implore people to do this because that makes the biggest difference between being “hated” and having “haters”. One of Urban Dictionary’s definition of a “hater” is “A large group of people who have absolutely no calling in life except for dissing on everyone and everything around them because they have no understanding of being different” [1]. This wasn’t the most prominent definition, though. The most prominent one said “everyone on this site” [2]. Even still, people are not totally clear cut on the difference between “being hated” and “having haters”. 

                To keep this going, I will break down the difference: haters are people that try to downplay you, and everybody else, because of their level of success. In fact, haters are the ones that constantly live in a status of schadenfreude, which means to find joy in the misery of others [3]. Haters tend to be constantly surrounded by feelings of jealousy and/or envy. Yet, these emotions are consummate to the point of controlling their lives. With that understood, one must understand that many of those labeled “haters” may just be people that don’t like you. 

                Stinkmeaner from the Boondocks? Hater. 

                Your coworker that thinks you are an arrogant ass because you always doing something? Just doesn’t like you. Please respect the difference.

Why They May NOT Be Haters

                Another thing to understand is that even if someone is “hating” on you, does not mean they are “haters”. Yes, they are jealous of you. Yes, you have something they want. Yes, they think you are doing big things and want to be in your shoes. However, to be a hater, you have to do one thing: hate all day, every day, on everything. 

                This is the equivalent to saying someone that is mean to you is a “bitch”. Unless they are mean to the majority of the world, then they are just being a “bitch” to you. 

                Being a “hater” is all encompassing. You don’t turn it on and turn it off. Haters really work to knock everyone’s hustle. They find everything wrong with a situation and capitalize off of that. If they were in a forest, they would rather complain about the trees than witness the beauty of the green. To be a hater, their disregard for the exquisiteness and significance in anything must be second nature.

                So, before one labels someone a “hater”, they need to figure out are they really “haters” or are they “just doing some hater stuff”. 

Delusions of Grandeur

                There is nothing more annoying than people that think they have haters just because of a little humanistic adversity. 

                To keep things copasetic, there are plenty of people that HAVE haters. Your common famous basketball player has haters. President Obama has to chase the Tea Party off with a bipartisan stick (to my chagrin). Even Jesus had, and still has, haters. To be realistic, some of us will have people praying for our downfall. [Side note: praying for the downfall of Jesus is really oxymoronic. Highly. ]

                That doesn’t mean people are praying for your downfall. Yet, people do this to make themselves feel more important than they really are for the sake of one thing: hope for themselves. Hope is acquired once people reach a place of higher self-esteem and convinced that the relationships they have are loving and worthwhile [4]. People are constantly hoping that they can be accredited or loved for the person that they are. Yet, this isn’t how it always happens. Once someone does not reach that said acknowledgement, they tend to believe that people “hate” on them. 

                This acknowledgement of this situation even goes as far as the music we listen to. Jill Scott has a song that acknowledges the naysayers (“Hate on Me”). Marvin Sapp has received praise for “The Best in Me”, a song that deals with his desire to be happy that God loves him even when people do not. And you know many rappers from Lil Wayne to B.O.B will recognize the hater in their world. Honestly, some of the music that we listen to sheds light on the hater syndrome that does exist. 

                Yet, just because an artist feels they have haters does NOT mean YOU DO. Sure, you have someone that “hates” on you every now and then. Great. But does it make sense to turn it into a “shout out to all my haters” marathon every time you open your mouth or type? Are you actually important enough to other people to even be worthy of “hating”? Do your efforts actually motivate people to do something? If you died, would the world take notice (or at least the world that surrounds you in a 50 mile radius)?

                Sometimes, I really feel the answer is going to be “No”. For plenty of us that say “yes”, you need to realize that you may not be that important. It isn’t a bad thing. It is just how the cookie crumbles: messy with the need of clean up. 

The Point of It ALL

                To have haters, you have to understand three things. First thing to understand is that everyone isn’t a hater if they don’t like you. The second thing to realize is that haters hate because that is what they do all day and every day. The last thing to understand is that many of us aren’t important enough to have “haters”. In the end, find people that love you and let those that don’t like you do what they do. Life is short. Why concern yourself with people that aren’t going to help you get more out of it?

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!

               

               

[1] www.urbandictionary.com/haters

[2] www.urbandictionary.com/haters

[3] http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/schadenfreude

[4] http://www.zurinstitute.com/victimhood.html