Growing up, I always worked to make things happen the way “I felt” they should happen. I tried my hardest to make sure things “worked”. Whether it was at school, in relationships, or even at certain jobs, I wanted things to “roll smoothly”. I had the thoughts of the pretty wife, cool kids, and the nice house with plenty of zeroes in the bank account. Being summative, I wanted my life to be “perfect”.
Yet, rude awakenings and enlightenment happened to me in one fell swoop.
After having some issues with a situation, my brother had a quick talk with me. I thought he was going to come with some overly mundane commentary and advice. Yet, he shocked me. My oldest brother came with the most useful advice I could ever hear: he told me “You can’t control every aspect about life”. After that, a burden was lifted off of my shoulders.
After all this time spent trying to be “perfect” or live the “perfect life”, come to find out I don’t even control my life fully? I blame these damn motivational speakers for this folly of piss poor actualization.
I guess it is safe to say that people work to achieve a chocolate covered lie to no ends and bounds: people should seek perfection (either within oneself or within others).
The True Realization
The perpetual problem with “perfection” is it does not exist under qualitative terms. You can find perfection in numerical values and maybe a rubric. If I wanted to see if Cam Newton had a perfect throwing game, then all he has to do is make all of his passes. Steve Nash has had numerous games with a perfect free throw percentage. I have plenty of students that get a perfect score on their spelling tests. So, yes, perfection exists in the measurable, numerical sense.
Still, qualitative perfection is the product of perception and opinion. People will try to say that something is “perfect”. However, “perfection” to one person can be “subjugation” for another. People feel as if they are forced to believe something is “of the greatest standard” when they either don’t agree or don’t care for those standards to begin with. And what do you have? You have a lot of disagreement on what “perfection” is.
People, is it really worth it to even try and take on “perfection”? I’m just asking.
Historical Context
The idea of perfection can be taken from two particular respective beliefs systems: Grecian and Biblical perfection.
The Greeks idea of “perfection” was something that guided their society. The Greek belief system allowed for “teleos”. “Teleos” had concrete references: there was the “perfect physician”, the “perfect comedy” and even the “perfect society” [1]. It wasn’t a totally abstract mentality, however. Thus, many work to associate this “teleos” with “completeness” rather than pure “perfection”. Still, one can see the idealistic systematic beliefs of Grecian society in others’ approach to perfection.
Another idea that deals with perfection is perfection praised by the Bible. What needs to be noted is that many Christians believe that “the law of the Lord is perfect” [2]. From a Biblical standpoint, this would make sense. If the Lord is the son of the most perfect being to ever exist, then the Lord’s law is perfect [3]. This is the law handed to us from God. So, who can truly doubt the perfection within the law that God has prescribed for us?
As informative that this is, it is also troubling. Through all of the beliefs and religious documentation, has there been an instance of human perfection? I await proof of its existence. Until then, I can truly say “I doubt it”.
The Problem with Seeking Perfection
To start, “perfection” and “human” is not even synonymous. Mel Schwartz, a psychotherapist and marriage counselor, noted that “humans, however, were never intended to be perfect. That's part of the definition of being human. Consider the expression ‘I'm just human’”[4]. From his explanation, humans should not even seek something that is not only elusive, but unattainable. Plus, it's likely that not many people would tolerate being around a “perfect person”. They would only serve as a reminder of the constant shortcomings that they possess [5]. To be honest: who wants to be reminded that they “came up short” all the time? In short, the “perfect human” is as oxymoronic as “organized confusion” and “Jews for Jesus”.
The other problem with perfection is that it is a comparative term. Whenever one seeks perfection, there has to be the question “in comparison to what?” [6]. If one thing is perfect, then there has to be at least something else that isn’t perfect. Eventually, due to the achievement of perfection, there will be a static situation occurring [7]. What is the point of change/growth when whatever it is that exists is “perfect” the way it is? Comparatively, life with perfection can shorten and hinder evolution.
The Difficulty Perfection Seeking Causes
A harmful quality with seeking perfection is this: at some point, people will begin to obsess over it. People will go to no ends to become “the perfect representation of a human being” to the point of unnecessary actions like $80,000 worth of plastic surgeries just to look like a Barbie figure [8]. It is sad to say that people will go to lengths to be “perfect”. Dr. Nancy Etcoff, psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of Survival of the Prettiest, The Science of Beauty, noted the scientific term for some people’s obsession over perfection:
She likely suffers from a common condition now known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). BDD often strikes people in their teens. It's a psychiatric problem where people are pre-occupied with an imagined or very slight defect. They can't stop thinking about it. They've checked the mirror all day. They spend hours thinking about it. They'll ask people, “How do I look?” And what happens is, everyone says, “Sure, I think about my looks.” But it becomes so preoccupying that it's torturous. It becomes an obsession. [9]
What really needs to be understood is that this is a real condition. This shows that seeking perfection can easily go too far.
Another harmful quality about seeking perfection is that it exudes “the boring”. People have yet to realize that it is the imperfections that make life worth living. It is the imperfections within us as humans that either makes us interesting or even entertaining. Imagine the world that we would live in if it was perfect. Life, as we know it, would suck. There would be no rainy days so sunny days would be meaningless. Struggle would mean nothing. Who would care about yin when there is no yang? People have not realized that being imperfect is one of the spices of life.
The Skinny
In the end, nobody is perfect. While many of us seek perfection, it really is not worth the trip to the store to obtain it. Instead, people should seek to constantly grow and/or improve. At least improvement/growth/evolution is a worthwhile goal. Why even care about not being perfect when reaching perfection would make you perfectly lame?
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!
